The Assertiveness Guide for Women brings up a topic that I don’t take lightly, how to communicate your needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, and set healthy boundaries to create strong relationships are really important.
I consider Julie de Azevedo covered assertiveness in this book pretty well, from what’s assertiveness to discontinue a relationship with people that ‘should’ be in one’s life if it’s necessary.
CHAPTER ONE. What does it mean to be assertive?
CHAPTER TWO. Attachment, emotions, and assertiveness
CHAPTER THREE. Barriers to assertive communication
CHAPTER FOUR. Self-Reflection: Exploring your relationship patterns
CHAPTER FIVE. Self-Awareness: Identifying emotions
CHAPTER SIX. Self-Soothing: Mindfulness and emotional management
CHAPTER SEVEN. Self-Expression: Doormat, Sword, and Lantern
CHAPTER EIGHT. Self-Expression: Setting Strong Boundaries
The book has exercises and tools to create awareness and practice assertiveness. The author provides different tools that help to manage relationships with people that are open to talk about what’s bothering in the relationship or people to avoid because they don’t respect boundaries.
Assertiveness can still have room for improvement even growing up or living in a good healthy setting. On the other hand, stress-related illnesses can be the result of resentment and distress caused by environments where is difficult to assert the self or coupe with the abuse that affects organs as the liver and the adrenal glands due to live in a fight or flight mode (survival mode) chronically.
Julie de Azevedo writes about toxic people, “these individuals are toxic because they poison the people around them.” However, it takes awareness to realize the somatization of bottled negative emotions and act saying no and setting healthy boundaries. Moreover, in extreme cases, it doesn’t mean it’s easy as abusive people want to perpetuate the abuse but health, safety, and overall well-being are worth it. It is impossible to take back all the wasted time because of these people abusive behavior, but it’s feels great when it’s over.
I love this book; assertiveness is a topic that touches my heart deeply, because of it, I have created a safer environment to live my life, and the sense of relief is huge, as leaving abusive situations unattended can escalate to attract more abusive relationships and spoiled the good ones. Furthermore, practicing assertiveness is vital for it’s important to be connected with healthy people and attract healthy relationships.
Author Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD
The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships
Published by New Harbinger Publications (August 1, 2016)
Isn’t it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life.
When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.
Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you’re unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you’ll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want.
Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.
ARC by NetGalley
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