According to Amanda Owen, the author of The Power of Receiving, part of attracting your goals is understanding receiving.
I thought giving propelled an inherent receiving. You couldn’t give without receiving somehow because what you give you will receive, not necessarily from the same person.
However, there are imbalances created in our society which emphasizes giving over receiving even though both are important and natural.
Also, linking everything that involves the practice of receiving with your goals is an interesting approach.
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Are Your Giving and Receiving in Balance?
– You are the one people turn to when they need help. You have to ignore your phone and e-mail or you’ll never get downtime at all.
– You spend so much time working that family and friends complain they never get to spend time with you.
– You have a job where you help others, for instance, a nurse or social worker. However, when you need help neither relatives or friends are available.
– You’re a single parent and all your time and energy goes to making a living and raising your children.
– You take care of your parents and the stresses of their care let you feeling overwhelmed.
– You enjoy your vacation, but it takes a couple of days to remember how to relax and you dread going back to work.
If any of these scenarios are familiar to you chances are your giving and receiving are out of balance.
When your giving and receiving are in balance means that sometimes you’re the Giver and other times the Receiver.
If your giving and receiving are in balance you feel physically rested, mentally alert and engaged, emotionally content and spiritually fulfilled.
If you don’t feel this way, it’s important to learn to receive before you feel emotionally unappreciated, physically exhausted, mentally resentful and spiritually depleted.
How Often Do You Refuse to Receive Whether It’s a Compliment, an Apology or Help?
Florence Scovel, the author of The Game of Life and How to Play it explains, “Some people are cheerful givers, but bad receivers. They refuse gifts through pride, or some negative reason, thereby blocking their channels, and invariably find themselves eventually with little or nothing.”
Even though people should give without thinking of returns, they should accept the returns which come to them.
People block receiving and create some limiting beliefs. Amanda Owen names a few such as:
Wanting something for yourself is unseemly at best and greedy and selfish at worst.
You shouldn’t burden others with your troubles.
People who achieve success without help are admirable.
People who achieve success while enduring significant hardship are even more admirable.
If you have been a bad receiver, you must practice until you become a good one to open up your channels for receiving.
Valuing What Receiving Has to Offer
Receiving is beneficial in many ways, for example, it helps you attract what you want.
Our society values activity. The go-getter individual. However, a balance between an active and receptive state is essential.
Amanda Owen lists as receptive states: meditating, listening, feeling grateful, observing, among others. On the other hand, she lists as active states: talking, multitasking, analyzing, doing, for example.
If you are a good observer it enhances the ability to analyze, for instance. On the other hand, if you’re a chatterbox, you’re less likely to excel at listening.
If you’re always on the go and ignoring replenishment time you may have to deal with feeling burnout.
A receiving state doesn’t have anything to do with being passive or submissive. Receptivity is a dynamic and energized state that helps you to achieve your goals.
Doing and Taking vs Giving and Receiving
Doing and taking cause separation. Giving and receiving create connection.
The Doer doesn’t receive from the Taker. This kind of relationships drains you. On the other hand, the Giver and the Receiver have a mutually fulfilling transaction.
It feels good to give and it’s interconnected to receiving and mutually energizing and replenishing. If you feel anger and resentment toward the person you’re helping you’re doing instead of giving.
Takers use, manipulate and exploit. They never have enough. If you think doing more will for these people will induce them to reciprocate, that’s not going to happen. Takers always want more and more.
Skilled receivers are attracted to those who they can give and to those who can give to them.
Receive Everything-Decide Later
You should receive all of the data from your environment, from and about other people, and your feelings. You can decide later what to do with all the information you have gathered.
Sometimes people block information consciously or unconsciously to avoid conflict, not wanting to experience their feelings, not wanting to disappoint others, or because this is how people should behave so they don’t look like a bad person.
Because you aren’t blocking information, the more you receive the more you’ll be able to make better choices. You’ll set healthier boundaries because you have more data to work with to take appropriate action and avoid being in denial.
Do You Feel Do You Have to Reciprocate?
If someone helps you, do you feel obliged to reciprocate?
There are several assumptions that surround your concerns when someone wants to help you or give you a gift. It could be you feel undeserving of any help, also you think people have ulterior motives to help you, or you are concerned you can’t reciprocate or you’ll have to do something you don’t want to in order to reciprocate.
A skilled Receiver doesn’t fear being indebted to a Giver, it’s a healthy relationship that involves receiving sometimes and giving at other times. Experienced Receivers are clear about their needs and rights.